Monday, June 28, 2010

Control Freak Seeks Advice

I'm struggling in that very gray area between being helpful and being controlling. I leave for a 10 day vacation with my mom and sister in a few weeks. I'm thrilled for myself and trying not to feel too spoiled as my mom is the one whisking us away. Meanwhile, my brain is making lists in hyper-speed. It's actually making lists of things I need to make lists of...that's a sure sign of insanity.

I konw my husband and mother-in-law are completely capable of caring for the kids. I'm incredibly grateful for a husband who is willing to take a few days of vacation so that I can go to the Mediterranean. If it were the reverse, I would be so jealous and whiney. He's not. He's amazing. I'm also thankful for my MIL who's willing to move in for a few days! Here's where I'm struggling...how can I be helpful to them without being controlling?!

What I want to do is lay out everything the kids are going to wear the entire time I'm gone. Why? Ummm... well, maybe it has something to do with my son being spotted in Meijer at 9:30 pm with chocolate all over his face and a mismatched outfit on the last time I was gone. Hmmmm....

I also want to make ahead meals. Why? Ummm....maybe because hubby might think that Cheerios and marsh mellows are a great dinner.

All I know is that I don't want to be the gatekeeper. I don't want to be the type of wife/mom who stands in front of the kids and acts like my way is the only and the best way. At the same time, I want to help ahead of time because I won't be able to help when I'm gone.

Any advice? What practical thing have you done in advance to help with the time you're away? Please leave a comment if you have any ideas!

4 comments:

Kristin said...

I've only ever had my little one spend the night at grandmas, so I get to pack his clothes. :) I know how you feel though, because I want to control so much that I can't especially when it comes to my son. I guess my advice would be this: talk to your husband about it...give him some suggestions on ways you can help and see what he thinks would help him the most, then do that. Also if your MIL is there, will she be fixing meals? And if she's not, would it really be so bad for your kids to have Cheerios and marshmallows for dinner, as a special "when the cat's away" kind of treat? :))

Most of all, have a great time, and post pictures when you return!!

Country Gal said...

My advise - let it go! Let your MIL enjoy picking out the clothes and planning the menus. I know mine would love it! Leave a well stocked pantry, a clean house, and clean clothes - then leave with a clean conscious and have a wonderful time!

Laurie said...

Am I control freak too? Yep, guilty as charged. I put my kids clothes in outfits and my mom and MIL have always said how nice it is to just reach in the bag or drawer and there is the clothes for the day. And since my mom hates to cook, I do make meals and freeze them. If your MIL or hubby is happy in the kitchen, skip it and just bake them some really ridiculously good cookies as a treat for them after the kids are in bed. :)

Have so much fun & live it up in honor of all us SAHMs!!!!! (I never use more than one ! so consider this is a demand to live like a rock star for 10 days - minus most of their usual behaviors. :)

Our Journey said...

Just take care of the major things and let all the minor things go :) Your kids (although not your first choice) will still survive if they eat cherrios and marshmallows for a week, and no matter how much you try to micromanage things still will go differently while mommy is away. You can go back to normal after you've had some rest and relaxation (oh and I am so jealous you get this kid-free vacation!) :) Enjoy!!!